Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A reminder to myself on 2011

To me,

Face it. Your life has been a bullshit all the while.

Yeah, you already knew it. Hmm. But previously you kept denying the truth. But not now, not anymore will you continue to hide from reality. And the reality is that simple – you don’t have supportive parents.
Everything pretty much went wrong all the while with you. I’ll give you a word of wisdom. Listen to your parents until you are 12. Then, find your own way. Be assertive, demanding, not complying to their every whims and fancy as it puts your future on the line. Yeah, don’t expect them, as knowledgable as they may seem, to settle everything that they think is best for you. Proof? I’ve plenty.

2006. Your mother grumbled about sending you to St John everyday. You quite enjoyed the group last year, attending every meeting up until the school holidays. Extra sessions can’t attend cos of no transport. And they just kept dilly-dallying about the RM80 uniform set. Therefore, in the best interest of your parents, you quit.

2007. Your astronomy interest is very much on fire. But a promised telescope was swapped for a last minute gift of a little blue MP3. Don’t say that you asked for the swap. You thought that It was also in the best interest of the father’s wallet. Therefore there goes a probability of becoming an astronomer. They never thought of the telescope as an investment for their child’s future.

2008. Found a new interest in Tai Chi. Attended every lesson, sifu said that you can join the competitions. Thing is, special training until 12a.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. See, I still remember the dates. Of course, that was a no too. As life progresses, three times a failure made you disillusioned. You brood over the computer and, hey you got some interest in computer programming too. That was the days where you self learned CSS, Photoshop and C programming. And you see that your mom gradually complied with your sister’s requests to fetch to events, friend’s houses and such. You realised it. You was the eldest. And eldest child don’t really stand a chance.

2009. Now i will name another really bloody big stumbling block of your future. Yes, I will name her whole – Puan Wee Soon Joo. Words cannot describe your frustrations about her constant slacking on the planned activities. Yes, I will name all of us too, the so-called AJK. As far as I recall you were the only one doing things, and Lee Qin Song, a great help too. But it wasn’t such a big mistake in becoming a class monitor, as I can really use my powers to at least start a change in the classroom. After such a long time, I tasted power. Of course, it sorta helped in my struggles for the scholarships too.

2010. Your intended job of giving tuition at Kajang turned to a store helper at 99speedmart nearby. Transport problem. You intended to skip that bloody thing called NS, but your mom forced you to go, another 3 months wasted. While your sistah got really good in swimming. And that one no transport problem. You recall her saying sending you to German classes, which you really look forward to. No transport. And finally, a last-minute switch from American Degree Program to the MCKL A-levels. Due to financial considerations. But that you don’t really mind anyway, so let’s ignore that. But the list is long. And it is true. Too true for you to ignore. And it’s becoming really dangerous, as you are coming to accept your ’fate’, while it shouldn’t be.

IT’S STILL NOT TOO LATE NOW.

In late 2010 you have founded a new club rekindling your astronomy interests, the Stargazer Society. A colourful programme has been devised to keep you busy. FOLLOW THE SCHEDULE. DON’T LET ANYTHING GET IN YOUR WAY. TRANSPORT, FINANCE OR WHATEVER BULLSHIT THE WORLD MAY COME OUT WITH. Uni applications needs some people with a so-called ‘leadership’ qualities. This may just be your one-way ticket. Don’t lose it.

And now you really already have an idea of what you want to study, and where – in precise. You want, you must, you WILL study Physics in the California Institute of Technology. No one can help you except yourself on this one. And this, I announce, will be my one and only goal, my resolution for this 2011 and 2012. Don’t worry when people question you – what type of physics? Can earn money meh? You dreaming ar? Because THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS GETTING THERE. THAT’S ALL.

BE ASSERTIVE. BE DEMANDING. BE PROVOCATIVE. COS IF YOU WANT THE WORLD TO BE YOUR OYSTER, FIRST YOU MUST BRAVE THE DEEP BLUE SEA.
BY AUGUST 2012 YOU WILL HOLD THIS TORCH AS YOU WALK INTO CALTECH.
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3 comments:

  1. Hmm... so fast already the end of 2010. It was my fortune to know you. Thinking back in 2009 we always 'fooling' each other, now u're saying u'll be going to US for few years. Gonna miss you soon!

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  2. lol! but its really a far-off dream, dunno whether can make it anot. =(

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